Drop Zone continued... or not.

Ok, so I've stopped falling and I made it. Weeeee....... Although, I've caught something terrible which has given me swollen glands (not the good kinds) and a fever - which may explain the rest of this post but we'll see. I figure writing under the influence of heat fighting off bacteria is better than drooling on my keyboard through a Nyquil haze so here we go.

Starting out a new relationship we're all gung-ho right? Making our esthetics appointments, extra grooming, endless emails back and forth, texts, all trying to express the ultimate joy you feel when you're with someone. Your heart skips beats and you feel "ohhh, this time is different. Now I really know what I want and I want what I know. I enjoy this person. We get along sooo well. We're like two puzzle pieces..." Click. The pieces come together and so it begins.

I'm usually the one who leaves pretty much everything all out on the table - or so the saying goes. I hide nothing, expose everything, and still think this is a good idea. I believe it's a mature way to start out a relationship when you're in your 30's. That, and the quick qualification round.

Have kids? Want any? Smoke? Addicted? Live in this city? Yeah, I have geographicus faraway isbetteris. GFI. The further you are the more I'm attracted to you but whatever... this isn't about that. So, how well do you groom? Clean home? Dirty fingernails? Play an instrument? Are you generous to your community? Are you angry? Do you drive? Yeah, that's another important one, if you live 800km's away you best have a license. And a car. That is operational. That isn't your mothers. Speaking of which, do you live with your mom? Cuz that, my friend, is the most non-sexy thing going. Well, that and back hair.

The whole process, well, it's almost like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other eh? Wait, does that come later in the relationship? I think so. Ok, so then it's like the Newlywed Game (commitment-phobes look away and breathe into the bag) where if all the answers match then they should be together. I wish I had a quiz. I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me when someone would hit Release.

Oh, found my point... *thanks for your patience by the way*
...if you're still reading...

There I was in a relationship that we both thought was incredible, passionate, enlightening, growing even after a very short period of time. Things were moving along so well. We laughed, we talked, we cooked, we kissed for hours, we touched all the time, we were being us. The real us. And click. The sound of the puzzle pieces separating themselves from each other and my half went plummeting down the Drop Zone. I didn't even know I had a ticket to get on the thing. I thought I was going to be in the "It's a small world" ride like the one in Florida. It's a smooth boat ride through happy villages with dancing people and smiling faces. Now I just want to beat those happy bastards with an oar. Not really. Ok, maybe half of me does knowing they're made out of resin.

Point being, I didn't expect the Drop Zone otherwise I would have gotten out of the cue. I'm afraid of hypothetical heights. Although, even with that fear I don't think it's the fall that got me - I think it's that no one was at the bottom to catch me.