Ex Files

I finally developed two rolls of film that I had been too lazy to take in. Knowing some of my pictures would be from the fabulous vacation I took this year and one ex. I was anxious for the former... in the sentence, not lover. So excitedly I get back to my car, rip open the envelope and there is the summer-fling-ex, right on top. Of the pile. Sighing, I shift past those of him curled up on my couch attempting to look sexy and irresistible.

I flip to pictures of our Canada Day party at Shannon's - which I'm attempting to post with no luck. All smiling faces we're drinking and having an amazing party. I giggle remembering what Booger said to me as he poured shots all over the counter and how he almost set the curtains on fire then BAM!... a snapshot of me and the Big Ex. There we are in, I have to say, one of the best pictures of us ever taken. I felt sick. Instead of sinking into it I dialed the only person I knew who would understand. I love that she answered. Despite it being more than six months since the Big Breakup she listened and empathized. "I know exactly how that feels" were the perfect string of words I needed to hear.

Every now and again the universe throws something at me, almost as if to say "Are you ready for this?" (who here is humming that 80's dance track?). Sigh. I wasn't ready to see him and he has occupied some of my thoughts of the last 36 hours, though mostly focusing on the reasons we aren't together. Far too many times I would pine over what could have been. This time it wasn't, and I know that now.